Sunday, November 4, 2012

Nike Run to the Beat – Running a half marathon in 3 degree Celsius – There is always a first time


Having run 6 full marathons and 11 half marathons I have come to accept one fact – there is always something new that happens in a marathon.

After all 42.195 Km or 21.095 km is a longish distance to cover on foot. It is for the first time that I have penned down (or rather typed out) my experience on any one run (I did a compilation earlier).

“No one can possibly know what is about to happen: it is happening, each time, for the first time, for the only time” – James A. Baldwin.  

Guess the British Culture has influenced me - I had run a half marathon on the 30th of September and not followed it up with any long runs beyond a 10K; so on the 21st of October I can't claim to be feeling upbeat about running another half marathon in a week's time. The weatherman had exactly the kind of information required to lift the spirits – the temperatures were expected to plunge through the week and Arctic winds were expected from Thursday onwards. As the week progressed, the weather went from cold to colder. As the weekend came by so did the rains, adding a dash of depression to the cocktail.

The Saturday before a marathon should be a relaxed one with little physical effort; but it almost never has been the case on any of my previous races, and this was no exception. The Saturday was spent at Winkworth Arboretum with Manish and Savitri and 4 hyperactive kids. But what was troubling me was the weather. The fact that I was concerned about the weather more than the lack of mileage clearly indicated that I had gotten into the “British way of life”.

Most of my marathons have been in temperatures in the mid 30’s with humidity in the 80’s atleast and it is the first time I was attempting to run a half marathon in under 10 degrees. My mind was racing back to Amsterdam in 2008 when I ran a full marathon in 10 degrees and struggled to keep my toes warm!!!! There is always a first time….

Yes the clocks change – It must be the British sense of humor that makes an organizer choose the date when the clocks change, to organize a half marathon. Since it is only the second experience we have had with changing clocks, I decided not to trust the “electronic” clocks on the i-phone of the wife or my own Blackberry. So I set the alarm on a good old battery powered “alarm clock”, a throw back to college days.  

I woke up at 7 AM according to my body and the “alarm clock” but 6 AM according to all the cellphones and laptops at home. The sun peeped out adding to my confusion – was it actually going to be warm, had I overslept. Instead of intellectualising I decided to get out of bed and check the time on BBC morning news!!!

I’ve never run after having slept an extra hour thanks to a clock change. There is always a first time…….

No running bib – Any race is associated with the ritual of attaching your running bib to your running vest so that the marshals can identify you as a legitimate runner and the site race-photos.com can charge you for wanting to see your photographs from the race.

I opened the packet from the organisers on Saturday night after the Makhijani’s (and Swaninathan’s) left after an action packed Saturday. I was perplexed and a tad worried about the fact that I could not find a running number. My panic was checked by the discovery of a band to be worn around the wrist. The band would suffice for the marshals at the starting line but what about the commerce of selling race photographs? Surely the organisers were not going to inflict further wounds on an ailing economy.

I finally realized that the running vest had the number on it!!!! This was clearly a first for me.



While it could be argued that it reduces the opportunity to express your individuality, you cannot argue with the choice of a Nike Dry Fit as a running vest. In any case, the organisers had given you no options.

Mr. Brand Manager at Nike – wonderful touch to give the event an even greater feel to it, atleast on photographs that you will use for your presentations to your bosses.


Vanity thy name…. – Having put on 3 layers for warmth and re-inforced it with a pair of gloves to ward off the biting cold, I reached the Wimbledon station at a little before 8 AM by my watch. Seeing no one on the platform,  as I waited for the train, my mind began to wander off into the dark area where I had woken up at the wrong time; and either there was another hour to kill or the race was starting in another part of town.

Finally a few minutes later, people starting trooping onto the platform in the unmistakable yellow t-shirts. So atleast, I was not the only one who had made a mistake – the comfort of numbers…..

Finally the 0807 to London Waterloo arrived and we got onto the train. Surprisingly, so early on a Sunday, the seats were all already taken but then there were 18500 of us headed to the same venue so it should not have been a surprise.

There were two women sitting opposite where I was standing and both had the Yellow t-shirts. I could not avoid overhearing their conversation but I must claim it was completely unintentional, despite my profession of market research. One of them was running to raise money for Leukamia research (good on her) and had raised £730 so far and was expecting another £80 to come through from colleagues. So far all good. The train reaches Earslfield and by then, the overcrowding on the train makes a Mumbai local at 9 AM on a weekday appear empty!

At this point, the above mentioned fund raising woman takes out a compact and a brush and starts painting her face. I am sure there exists correct terminology for the products and the process used but having had no professional experience in skin care products, I can manfully claim complete ignorance. Why but why would you need to paint your face when you are going to subject yourself to the task of running 21 Km?

The mystery deepened when after a few minutes, she took out a wavy brush to do something to her eye lashes and followed it up by taking out a pencil to paint her eyes. Never in the earlier 17 experiences of running long distance races (I don’t count anything less than a half marathon as a long distance race), had I noticed women with make-up.

As we disembarked at Waterloo, I was convinced that I had observed an aberration. The market researcher in me decided to test the hypothesis on the Jubilee line to North Greenwich. Lo and behold ! The train was jam packed but the first woman I observed had the yellow vest on and her cheeks were painted pink. The second woman I observed looked “normal” but the third woman (again with the yellow vest) was busy applying her lipstick.

Why but why do women need to be “made up” at the start of the race? Must be the same psychology which makes the choice of their bras determine their level of confidence for the day.

“Without vanity, without coquetry, without curiosity, in a word, without the fall, woman would not be woman” – Victor Hugo.

The ultimate oxymoron – British indiscipline – During our stay in London, I had the opportunity to fulfill a long standing desire to watch a football match in a stadium – England vs. Ukraine (World cup qualifiers). The match itself was a reminder of why the weak-hearted should not support the English football team. What was striking to an outsider like me was that despite there being 61000 fans in the stadium there was no pushing and shoving. Everyone stood in queues, obeyed the rules displayed and even after the match, stood patiently in queues to board the trains. That experience confirmed that my British friends in office are not the exception when it comes to discipline. One in particular would never occupy a meeting room for more than 60 minutes because that is what the notice on the door says; while yours truly being an Indian has no such moral scruples in occupying the same room for a full day.

We reached the O2 arena and headed to the starting area. Sure enough there were marshals checking the wristband and screening out supporters. The route to the baggage area had the toilets enroute. I looked around for the shortest line for the toilets but I soon noticed a board which said “Men's wall ahead”. Intrigued I walked ahead only to find literally a wall for the men to pee against  - never had I come across this concept in any of the earlier races and I wonder why it is not more widely used given how effectively it serves the purpose and given it is considerably quicker in turnaround than unisex portaloos. 

The baggage drop area was quite crowded as would be expected not just because there were 18500 of us trying to drop off bags but also because it was considerably warmer inside the tent. Anyway, there was one exit and there was a long line to get out. Someone realized that an exit at the other end could be opened and so it was. What followed was a stream of people (yours truly included) charging towards this illegitimate exit and then climbing over barricades to reach the start line. If I had not seen it with my own eyes I would not have believed that a bunch of Brits would ever break the rules….

The start was uneventful but the ones like me who were aiming for a 2 hour finish reached the start line about 18 minutes after the official start. Since we weren’t in the race for the prize money it did not matter.

About a mile into the race we came across a garden by the road and promptly a steady stream of men dashed across to relieve their bladders, prompting groans of “men are so lucky” from the women. I was wondering where the fabled British discipline had disappeared and concluded that physiological needs had trumped psychological conditioning. The gardens seemed to appear after about every mile and the stream of men never ceased. After mile 4 we came across a garden tucked away at an angle and suddenly a stream of women runners were heading to the garden…..clearly the indiscipline is not the remit of the men alone.

“Green marathon” – The event brochure mentioned something about it being an environmentally friendly marathon. Nice touch Mr. Brand Manager at Nike, I am sure your Marketing Director would be pleased.

The first sign came just before the first water station where a board said, “littering is not allowed”.  Inorder to achieve this objective, giant dustbins were placed about 30 metres from the water stations. Also to help, water was dished out in plastic cups. Never mind the fact that anyone who can run and drink from a cup deserves an extra medal for the achievement.

Judging by the number of cups thrown into the bins vis-à-vis the numbers outside, I would say that approximately 30% of the cups were disposed off in the bins but I’d guess about 60% of the runners noticed the environment message. Mr. Brand Manager, I am sure you will turn to your conscientious market research team to generate the exact numbers and I am sure that the recommendations for future initiatives would include having bins spread out to atleast 100 metres away from the water bin and ensuring that the energy drinks are also served in cups and not in the 500 ml bottles since no runner would drink that quantity and the bottles would never reach the bin.

Murderous rage – The race was clearly designed to create maximum audience participation and hence involvement with the Nike brand. Nowhere was this more apparent than at the end of the race.

After completing the race, we had to meander around several corners to reach the medal distribution point. The corners were created to allow friends and family to cheer the runners and create more “contacts” for the event sponsors i.e Nike. Never mind the fact that it added another kilometer for runners who had already covered more than 21 Km.

One feature that did stand out at the end was the presence of a DJ belting out songs and engaging the audience. As I made my way past the finish and started to negotiate the series of turns, I heard the song – it was none other than “Why this Kolaveri di” (why this murderous rage). I never understood why the song became a rage in India but I could not believe I was hearing it in London, in the presence of some 25000 odd people which hardly included any Indians.

This was not just a first but clearly a “na bhooto na bhavishyati” moment (never before never after).

Mr. Brand Manager, overall an excellent job done. I can picturize the presentation you would be making to your board on the success of the event and the lessons for next year. Well done. Unfortunately for you, I will not be deciding on your bonus for the year so good luck with your presentation to the board.

As I head off to Singapore I do hope that you share some of your success formulae with your colleagues in Singapore so they can replicate it there.

Saturday, June 9, 2012

First Impressions of the UK

Having moved locations, 6 times (Delhi to Bangalore to Mumbai to Jakarta to Mumbai to Singapore and now to London) in the 16 years that I have been working, I have come to the conclusion that a year is the period required to form “first impressions” of a new place. As we complete a year in London, here are my first impressions of the UK. 

Airports and immigration - We arrived from Singapore where the Changi Airports authority has a target of ensuring that passengers cleared immigration within 18 minutes of leaving the aircraft and should take no more than another 5 minutes to leave the airport, having offcourse collected their check-in baggage. Lets just say that Heathrow defines the other extreme of the spectrum. First it was an hour long wait to get to the front of the immigration line only to be told that our x-rays needed to be checked by a medical specialist (what if we were bringing tuberculosis into the country). The medical specialist took a cursory look at the x-ray and waved us thru. The state of affairs of the airports were brought to life for me when in March 2012, a power failure at the Gatwick airport meant that flights took off without baggage and reinforced when Manchester airport ran out of aviation fuel!!! 

The jokes about the London airport not being able to cope with a few inches are all too true and personal experience bears it. However, while parts of Heathrow have seen better days, T5 clearly shines as a modern and well functioning terminal. 

Shopping experience - Our first stop was a serviced apartment in Wimbledon. On the first evening, I was given a list of things to be bought and I marched off to the local Sainsbury’s. Having made my purchases, I placed my basket at the check out counter and waited to be told how much was due. Instead, I heard the woman ask me “Sir, do you need help with the bags”. I did not understand the question and looked straight ahead as if I had not heard the question and so the woman repeated herself, more forcefully “Sir, do you need help with the bags”. By this time I realised that, I was not in the D&E world where a part of the super market service was to bag your purchases. In the UK you were expected to do it yourself !!!!

First Sunday after arriving, I had the usual weekly shopping list. I decided to “beat the weekend queues” and arrive early. So as the kids had their dinner, I left to go shopping – nice and early at 6 PM. Alas, the local Sainsbury’s was closed. Cursing them, I moved onto the Tesco which was also closed. By now I was gripped with panic and almost running towards my saviour in Morrison which also turned out to be closed. I finally found a “Londis” where I bought what was needed for the evening and returned. That was my introduction to the Sunday Trading Act of 1994, which restricted trading on a Sunday to a maximum of 6 hours. 

Having lived in a part of the world where Sunday is for frenzied shopping and malls are open till close to mid-night, arguably boosting the economy, I could not understand the drive to “keep Sunday special”. For any Indian husband, the malls provide the perfect safety valve by sucking in the wife for large parts of the day (preferably the evening) leaving him free to watch F1 or any other sport of choice on TV. I was relieved to note that I had not arrived prior to 1994 when the Shops Act was still in play and outlawed all trading on a Sunday. 

Every shop front screams “SALE” and it seemingly happens through the year. The phenomenon is best captured by TK Maxx which has a banner saying “upto 60% off at any point of time”. As a consequence, it is impossible to buy a brand, you buy the best deal or at best you buy the brand when it is on “sale”. 

Moushumi once went to shop at The Body Shop and purchased something worth £9. She was lured into a frenzy of “buy this and get that free and this with that and and and”. She ended up with goods worth £26 having paid only £11!!!!

Playgrounds – One of the first things we discovered in Wimbledon was “Dundonald Park”. It has 2 tennis courts, a children’s play area including a sand dune and swings and two cricket fields, which convert themselves into football grounds when the season changes. Vihaan and Vedant went in the children’s play area and the mean parents we are, we made them run around the cricket fields to tire them into sleeping peacefully. 

After moving into our house, we discovered two other similar parks, Merton Park, John Innes Park within half a mile of our house. The amazing thing was how brilliantly well maintained they are and for the first time in my life, I did not grudge having to pay council tax in a foreign country. The first visit to the Natural History Museum (which does not have an entry fee) almost made me want to pay council tax!!!

Richmond Park - One of the many beautiful parks in London

Driving in the UK – My first driving license was made in Bihar, one of the most corrupt states in India, in abstentia and obviously without a test. My second driving license was obtained in Indonesia where I did go to the test centre with an “agent” but all I did was stand for a photograph and sign a few papers before walking away with my license. So the prospect of having to take a written test followed by a practical test was “alien” to me. 

I bought myself a “DVLA guide” which had 400 questions. About 10% of the way into the book I realised that the right answer was always the “opposite of what not to do while driving in India”. For instance,
  1. In India you have to honk, not honking is not an option. In the UK you do not honk
  2. In India if you are at an unmanned junction, you do not stop to look around. In the UK, you stop, look left, then right, then left again before going.
  3. In India, if you wanted to turn, you would never look at your rearview mirrors but instead flash the indicator and then check. In the UK, you first check your rearview mirror and then flash the indicator.
I decided to use this strategy in the exam as well and sure enough versus the requirement of 86%, I scored 100%. 

Next I enrolled myself in a driving class and for my sins I landed up with a French WOMAN……now with my views about women drivers having a woman “teacher” was quite a “situation”. I have to admit that I learnt a lot about the basics of driving including parallel parking as a result of the 10 driving lessons. So the day of the practical arrived and to my shock and horror I found that the assessor was a WOMAN. Sure enough I flunked because I did not know that if you are going past the perpendicular on a round about you need to show the right indicator!!! I did pass in the second attempt and it was a MALE this time around!!!

Very early on, I decided that the only way to drive in the UK was to assume I was in Mumbai, think of how I would not do on the roads of and bingo that would be exactly what I would need to do in the UK. Driving in the UK is incredibly safe but incredibly stressful. All the stress comes from having to observe a hundred thousand odd rules, being polite to others and acknowledging their politeness. 

Valuing your holidays – The first prime minster of India, Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru created the culture of 5.5 day work weeks, 3 weeks of the month inorder to kick start the economy. The result was that the concept of “weekend” never took root in India and certainly in HLL you were “expected” to be busy enough to work over the weekend. This coupled with the dream to move “up the ladder” meant that Colin Powell’s words, “A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work” , were ingrained into all middle class Indians including yours sincerely. So when the real estate agent told me “I don’t work on Saturdays” I was left awestruck. After all most of the property deals in India happen over the weekends, when people are not working.

On August 6th 2011 a wave of protests in Tottenham gave way to rioting and looting. By the 7th of August the riots had spread and on the 8th London was burning quite literally. All this while the Prime Minister was off on holiday in Italy. Whats more the Home secretary, Teresa May was on holiday as well. And oh, it gets better, the Mayor of London was on leave, the chief of the Metropolitan police was on leave and, hold your breath, so was the head of the police in the borough where the riots began. The riots began on Saturday evening and it was not till Tuesday that the Prime minister decided to rush back to London and “take charge”. Offcourse, I am sure if Mrs. Thatcher were in power, she would come back on Sunday morning and stamped out the nonsense without another evening of madness prevailing. 

UK is the only country that I am aware of where all holidays (except Christmas) are on a Monday!! So while the world had the 1st of May off for labor day, in the UK the holiday for Labor day was on the 7th of May. The idea of bank holidays goes back to 1871 and was instituted by the then Prime Minister Gladstone. He established the August Bank Holiday which used to be the Monday following the last Sunday of August. This remained till 1969 when the August Bank holiday fell on the 1st of September!!!!!! 

We quickly realised that all bank holiday getaways needs to be planned well in advance i.e at the beginning of the year as every place is booked out.

Stiff British Upper lip – Before coming to the UK, I read a statistic that 70% of Brits did not know the name of their neighbours. (Source : Nissan Cared4 Survey). Having spent our entire lives in the “collectivist” East, we were naturally anxious. The anxiousness was reinforced in the first few days, every morning when the question “how are you” was met with “not too bad” as the response. Coming from the east, “not too bad” meant “things are not good but it could be worse and so I am not complaining”. 

A survey done by Nivea (reported in The Daily Telegraph) reported that British hugged on an average 13 times a day with each hug lasting for 10 seconds leading experts to believe that the “stiff British upper lip” is receding to the past. This new piece of information gave me hope.

When we moved into our home we were welcomed, with a bouquet from our 84 year old neighbour. In office I was welcomed by a presentation with everything one needed to know about living in Wimbledon. It was that presentation which introduced us to Deen City Farm which is a huge hit with Vihaan and Vedant. 

I was beginning to believe that the “Stiff British upper lip” was a unflattering caricature of the British till I discovered “question hour” in the British Parliament where everyone seems to address everyone else as “right honourable gentleman” before proceeding to shred them to pieces. The classic was the year end debate where Ed Miliband asked David Cameron “The Prime Minister had promised a collegiate style of governance. I would like to ask him where that style was when dealing with Europe”. Now we all know that the LibDems and the Tories have “issues” over Europe. So David Cameron replied “We do have some disagreements and that is known to all. It is not as if we are brothers”…ouch (reference David Miliband)…. And while he waited for the applause from his side of the well to end I assumed he was going to say something profound and he continued “The right honourable gentleman walked into that”….the stiff British upper lip is alive and well but not one to be experienced in “ordinary life”. I guess the maxim that politicians make the worst ambassadors for a country still holds true.

With the average Briton saying Thank you “5000 times a year” (Source : Food Network UK), I think the British are incredibly polite. 

Obsession with the weather –We arrived in the “middle of summer” and Moushumi had carried only her “summer dresses”. Sure enough it was “hot” i.e 16 degrees and rained practically everyday in May and provided an excuse (not that one is ever needed) to augment an overflowing wardrobe of Moushumi. 

The British obsession with the weather is great food for playful banter. However, it is only when you live in the UK do you realise why. The day could begin nice and bright and end damp and cold. We quickly got two weather apps and checked the weather before going to bed and first thing in the morning. 

Coming from the tropics where rains equate to a downpour, the constant drizzle can only be likened to someone shedding a few tears. 

Winter is another experience - For the record, the winters in Patna are quite cold with the temperatures going down to single digits around Christmas and so I “claim” to have faced winters in my life. However, the winter in the UK is “different”. For starters, the change of the clock means that the sun sets earlier and so you reach office when it is still dark and you leave office when it is dark. It is not without reason that a disease “SAD – seasonal affective disorder” was coined in the UK. It has to be said that the invention of “central heating” means that the cold is actually not a problem, it is the lack of sunshine. 

But there are those few days of the season when it snows which makes the misery of winters well worth it. The experience of snow is purely magical. The first day it snowed, Moushumi and I went out for a walk to “feel” the snow fall on our hands and heads. The snow ensured that the night was “white” and in the morning the snow was greeted by Vihaan and Vedant. The two of them offcourse went berserk throwing snow at each other after a few attempts of making a snowman. The funny thing was that all the British were complaining about the snow, something I cant quite understand.



Cash is king, nay credit is king –I remember using my credit card once in Patna (back in 1996), yes only once. I was asked for my telephone number, address, my fathers name and a million other details because using a credit card was so uncommon. To be fair, the concept of “credit” is fairly alien to middle class Indians who accept it for purchases of homes, cars or other “assets” but not for grocery.

On one of my first shopping trips I ran up a bill of a little more than a £ 100 and took out two £50 notes. The person at the check out counter asked me for identification…..clearly paying in cash was not a sight he was accustomed to. It took me many months to get used to the idea of giving your credit card details to someone on the other end of the phone, what if it was misused. 

British Countryside – The British countryside is truly beautiful and seems to have attractions for all age groups and interests. 

Our first excursion to the countryside was in Dorset where we stayed at a B&B that was in a house that was 400 years old. My brother in law (Subhendu) and I went out to get some dinner and came across the village pub. It was a Friday evening and we expected the frenzy that is witnessed in every pub in London on a Friday evening. Instead, people were sipping (not gulping) beer and chatting, others were having a meal with their family and the pub was due to close at 2200!!!! Clearly, the lifestyle in the countryside is “different” from that in London.

A drive into the countryside reveals names of towns that range from strange (Rugby, Camelford, Hallworthy, Exmouth, Plymouth, Sidmouth, Bugle) to the hilarious (Runcon, Lizard, Heston, Chipping Camden, Helstown) and the ridiculous (Boxheater, Happy Bottom, Pratts Bottom, Ugley). Clearly the English love their play on words and don’t seem to mind a laugh at their own expense.

Obsession with statistics - The British seem obsessed with statistics and there seem to be statistics around inane things including the fact that working mothers spend 48.3 hours per week multi tasking compared with 38.9 hours for their partners (other examples are littered elsewhere in the blog). 

Despite all the cuts to the public services, one institution retains its funding and manpower – the Office of National Statistics. In 1941, it conducted a study on bra ownership and found that housewives owned 0.8 brassieres while agricultural workers owned 1.9!!! Other studies it has conducted include whether moustaches made men more attractive, the speed with which people could drink a half-pint, and how much alfresco sex was taking place in Blackpool during August. Its latest initiative is what I would argue is the unmeasurable territory of personal well being where they are asking two questions - "Overall, how happy did you feel yesterday?" and "Overall, to what extent do you feel the things you do in your life are worthwhile?" 

Yet the same institution regularly gets its forecast of growth (or the lack thereof) wrong by a wide degree. 

Concluding thoughts – 
A Land of contradictions – My first impression is that of a land of contradictions. Let me give you a few examples
  • The first round of sale of the Olympics tickets were over subscribed many times over and many (including myself) did not get any tickets. Yet there are still tickets unsold.
  • A number of public discourses revolve around the importance of family life. This extends to the argument as to why shops should be closed on a Sunday. Yet, it is more common to get divorced than it is to change allegiance to your football club and the next in line for the throne is a divorcee who is re-married to a divorcee. 
  • A country which upholds the values of democracy to the world finds itself obsessed with the monarchy and thanks to events like the “Royal wedding” the support for the institution is at an all time high as per a survey done by IPSOS. The fact that the upkeep of the monarchy costs the ordinary citizen seems to be forgiven or forgotten or missed.
  • A country which preaches the virtues of a free market, has no free market for medical services. I remember the first time we went to the local NHS with Vihaan and Vedant, I asked the reception twice how much I owed them and where to pay only to be told “there are no fees sir”. I have come across the idea of subsidised medical facilities in India, Indonesia and Singapore but “free” was a first. 
  • UK is clearly a country of “outdoorsy” people. You just have to look at the sales of charcoal for barbeques anytime the sun peeks out to draw the conclusion. Yet, it has no street food culture whatsoever. I don’t buy the “weather is responsible” argument because the torrential downpours should have killed off any street food in Singapore decades back.

Probably the best expression of the “land of contradictions” can be found in “what Brits say and what Brits mean”. Here are a few examples

What Brits Say
What Brits mean
I hear what you say
I disagree and do not want to discuss it further
With the greatest respect…
I think you are an idiot
That’s not bad
That’s good
Quite good
A bit disappointing
Very interesting
This is clearly nonsense
This is a very brave proposal
You are insane


As per a study done on behalf of The Daily Telegraph, a majority of the Scots would like to remain part of Great Britain while a majority of the English would like them out – the epitome of contradictions……

I am sure my views on the UK will evolve over time but experience tells me that it will be an evolution and not a revolution. Time will tell……

Friday, January 6, 2012

The Changing Face of India seen thru the eyes of a visiting NRI

Time has been transformed, and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhilaration.” Khalil Gibran’s words could summarise the various articles I keep reading about the changing face of India and the transformation that is underway. Two and a half years away from the country is time enough to pick out changes and so I decided that during my 3 week annual leave I will try to pick out changes happening in India.
Day 1 – 18th December 2011 –
IST (Indian Stretchable Time)
Land in Mumbai by Jet Airways 9W117. The first communication from the pilot informs us of a delay in landing due to “air traffic congestion”. My take – Welcome home mate – we just wanted to ensure you feel at home and that nothing has changed..
Score - No change 1; Change 0.
We disembark and have to wait for our buggy to be unloaded and hence are the last to reach the immigration line. The immigration line moves at a quick pace and we are aided by an official who hails us to the front since we have kids. This compares to the awful experience at Heathrow where the line takes forever (I remember spending 3 hours at in the queue on one occasion) and any human interactions are never humane. My take –Namaste India.
Score - No change 2; Change 0.
Argumentative Indians
After immigration we head to belt 9 to pick our baggage. We collect the first 4 pieces but the last one seemingly takes forever. Finally, we realised that our bags had not reached!!!! The damm bag happened to have all the clothes of the boys. That there was panic would be an understatement. After 30 minutes of screaming at the Jet Airways officials and cursing the baggage handling of Heathrow, a not so sheepish looking gentleman comes along and announces – “I have taken someone else’s bag by mistake”!!!! A long explanation followed but apologies were offcourse out of the question !!!!! My take – The English taught us lots of things but politeness was not one of them.
Score - No change 3; Change 0.
Day 2 – 19th December 2011 –
Comfort Cabs (pun intended)
I recall the last time I tried to call a Meru cab, I was told that “no cabs are available”. Hence, I decided to call a day in advance. This time I was told that I can book the cab online, which I did. My takeGone are the days when the security guard was despatched to find a taxi and herd him to the apartment.
Score - No change 3; Change 1
Post Script - Upon our return from Delhi, I took a “pre-paid” Meru cab from the Mumbai Airport. Alongwith my bill, I was handed a “Sure for Men, Anti Perspirant”…..Well since the brand belongs to the company I work for, I refrain from commenting…..
The rat race
After a day of battling jetlags, I took the boys and my niece to the Hiranandani Gardens. The boys were having a ball climbing up a curved stairs and then sliding down. I was duly watching the kids when I overheard a mother tell her three year old “climb faster, those boys are reaching the top faster than you, you will always come second”!!!! Felt refreshing to hear the competitive spirit after almost being brainwashed with “it’s a sport and competing is what matters, winning is incidental” parenting tips. My take – In the land of a billion, life is a race – correction, was, is and will remain so.  
Score - No change 4; Change 1
We reached the Domestic airport at Mumbai after a “crawl” thru traffic on the “Western Express Highway”. We entered the airport and I went looking for the big x-ray machines to scan our check in luggage. Alas, the x-ray machines have been replaced by the updated in-line scanning…..We enter the security check area and I was expecting nothing more than a few coffee vending machines. Instead I find a Landmark, a Croma, a baby care room, a shop to purchase neck ties,  and hold your breath – a fully stocked bar. I was still recovering from the shock of the experience at the Mumbai airport when we reach Delhi. The Delhi airport – Oh man take a bow, what a fantastic airport, which would put a number of international airports to shame. The four lane highway outside the airport was just the icing on the cake. My takeThe experience of domestic flying has transformed – for the better.
Score - No change 4; Change 2
Post Script - On the way back, I decided to observe more carefully the interiors of the Delhi airport. The waiting area had very comfortable chairs, which would put most business class lounges I have visited to shame. The presence of power sockets and a free wireless completed the ensemble.  I noticed a Body Shop outlet, a Spa, a Mango outlet, a Reebok outlet, several designer outlets and hold your breath – a Porsche “canopy”.


Day 4 – 21st December 2011 – The Farm Effect
We took the boys out to buy some shoes for them. Five minutes into the drive I hear Vedant go “look look look there’s a donkey”!!!! A few minutes later it was Vihaan’s turn to go “look theres big piggy and baby piggy” and the crowning glory was when we reached the store, the boys sat in the car admiring the cows with horns. So far, they had seen animals only in farms (in London) or the Zoo (in Singapore) and the experience of seeing animals on the street was, well novel. It was novel enough to make Vihaan enquire “is this a farm” to which Moushumi (my wife) replied “No it’s a good gaon (village)” – the pun or the play on words (Gurgaon is where we were) were both lost on the 2 year olds. My takeThe rights of animals on the roads of India are safe and I am sure are enshrined in the constitution of the Sovereign, Socialist, Democratic Republic of India.
Score - No change 5; Change 2
Day 5 – 22nd December 2011 - Comfort Autos (The ultimate oxymoron)
While roaming the streets of Gurgaon (ferrying my wife from one shopping venue to the next, what else), I noticed a red colored rickshaw which was branded “Radio Tuk Tuk” and was complete with a number to call and a website (www.radiotuktuk.com). I quickly checked out the website and found it is a site that provides “auto rickshaws on call”.  My takeIf booking taxis online was a change, this is a transformation.
Score - No change 5; Change 3
Day 6 – 23rd December 2011 – The Nano Revolution
For a while now, management journals have been abuzz with articles of the “Tata Nano” way of working and the revolution it will bring about in the Indian automobile market. And today I finally saw ONE Tata Nano on the road. My wife described it rather egregiously, but in my view accurately, as a “cockroach”.  A google search revealed that the Nano sold only 1202 units in August 2011 in a market estimated at approximately 200,000 units a month i.e a market share of less than 1%. My take - Clearly, the revolution of the Indian car market never happened or it was really nano in its effect.
Score - No change 6; Change 3
Day 7 – 24th December – Where hitherto roads did’nt exist
We went to CR Park in Delhi to visit friends from a bygone era (we were meeting them after a full 12 years!!!).  My memories of the trip from Gurgaon to South Delhi entailed dusty roads and never ending traffic jams. What we encountered were wide roads frequently lined by never ending stretches of the metro and absolutely no traffic. I was beginning to wonder where we were but Vedant (my elder son) rudely reminded us by screaming “man spitting on road, man yucky”!!! My take - The quality of infrastructure in Delhi has transformed dramatically over the years (for the better). 
Score - No change 7; Change 3
Post Script – Philip (my younger brother) informs me that the Metro now connects Connaught place to the New airport. Infact, you can check in at the Connaught place station and handover you baggage as well even before boarding the train. Now that is something, I have not come across in any country that I have visited.
Day 8 – 25th December – Christmas a “Christian” Festival
As per the 2001 census, Christians constituted 2.3% of the population. The festive atmosphere in the malls and the coverage in The Times of India would clearly give the impression of Christians being a larger proportion of the population. Infact when we went to Church, the priest celebrating eucharist, felt obliged to say “members of all faiths are welcome to this service but communion is only for Christians”. Despite the best efforts of the politicians the truly secular fabric of the society remains intact.  My takeMark Twain once said “India has 2 million gods and worships them all.”
Score - No change 8; Change 3
Day 9 – 26th December – Winter Sport
Late evening, I peered out of the balcony at my brother’s place and lo and behold the kids were out in force playing badminton under lights. It is an old North tradition, one which I have taken part in as a child, to turn to badminton when the mercury drops below 25 i.e winter sets in (everything is relative!!!!!).  My take - I am tempted to ascribe the enthusiasm for badminton to the success of Saina Nehwal but I think I know better.
Score - No change 9; Change 3
Day 10 – 27th December – Environment consciousness
I noticed a board saying “DLF Phase 4 is a polythene free zone”. It suddenly explained why the previous evening a shopkeeper had told me that if I needed a bag it would cost be Rs. 5.  My take – The Panasonic eco ideas ad I had seen earlier in the day suddenly did not seem such a bad idea.
 Score - No change 9; Change 4
Day 11 – 28th December – Celebrity Craze
While driving on the streets of Gurgaon, I heard an ad for a “Casper Internet” on radio. The only reason I noticed it was Sachin Tendulkar was endorsing it. In the space of one ad break which interrupted the rather interesting 3 idiots, I noticed three ads featuring Kareena Kapoor (hope I got the number of e’s and a’s in her name correct) – one was for Lakme, one for a brand of bags I cant remember and the last for a shampoo either Head & Shoulders or Clear, but all seemed to be talking about something related to black.. My take – The craze for movie stars and cricketing heroes to endorse brands continues unabated. 8 days into the trip and am yet to see a single ad featuring either Saina Nehwal or Deepika Pallikal who is now ranked 15th in the world in Squashf. 
Score - No change 10; Change 4
Day 12 – 29th December – Brahminical Self Restraint
I went to the local super market to buy Boroline (khusbudar antiseptic cream Boroline). The thing that struck me was the number of cream filled biscuits on display including Oreo. From what I recall, the biscuit was either Parle G or Tiger or the quintessential Britannia Milk Bikis. The “bourbon” and "jim-jam" was meant to be taken out when “guests” came home. I recall having read an article in The Times of India on the biscuit industry stating that the cream filled segment was now worth (Rs.) 360 Million (€5.2 Mn) (Source : ACNielsen as quoted in The Times of India). ….. My take – The Indian housewife is now willing to spend on “small treats”or maybe the male of the household is in the ascendance ….maybe.
Score - No change 10; Change 5
Day 13 – 30th December – Demise of the “Scooter”
Looking at the 2 wheelers whiz around, I realised that I had not seen any Scooter since landing in India. A google search revealed that Bajaj had discontinued the production of scooters in December 2009 !!!!!  I remember the day we bought a Bajaj Chetak (4 gears – 1 up, 3 down) it marked the pinnacle of achievement for a middle class family. It still proudly stands in the Raj household in Patna “hamara Bajaj, bulund bharat ki bulund tasveer…hamara bajaj”.  My take – BV Pradeep (one of my bosses) often told me a tale of his days at a motorcycle company where he had predicted that at a certain income level motorcycles would overtake scooters. Clearly, we are past that day….
Score - No change 10; Change 6
Day 14 – 31st December – Running and Living
A heavy lunch of Mutton Biryani (from Noorani) necessitated a run for which  I set off to the Hiranandani Gardens. I was pleasantly surprised to find several other runners including a MAMIL (middle aged man in Lycra). As I was leaving I noticed a poster for a 10Km run in Powai on the 8th of January. The Standard Chartered Mumbai Marathon has its 9th edition on the 15th of January 2012. The Standard Chartered Marathon was the first in India (less than 10 years ago) and now there are a plethora of events including an ultra marathon in Bangalore. My take – Clearly, running as an activity has come of age in India with organised run every week in most major cities.
Score - No change 10; Change 7
Post Script – Found that I had added to the runners list by inspiring my wife’s cousin (Rajeev) and his wife (Sunita) to run the half marathon in Mumbai this year.
Day 15 – 1st January – New Year Gift
I received an envelope from State Bank of India and in it was a cheque for my IT refund for the last assessment year. To say that I am shocked by the speed of response of the IT department would be the understatement of the year. My take – If e-filing of returns was a change, the speed of issuing refunds is a transformation.
Score - No change 10; Change 8
Day 16 – 2nd January – Roads of Mumbai
Moushumi and I went to meet Supriya & family and Ketki for dinner. The journey took us 15 kilometres from Powai to Andheri Lokhandwala and confirmed my memories of the awful state of roads in Mumbai. The papers have been threatening for the metro to open in December 2012. I would bet on December but not on 2012. My take – The state of play of the Mumbai roads is like the fortunes of the Indian Mens hockey team – a brilliant past behind, a brilliant future ahead but a challenge in the present!!!!
Score - No change 11; Change 8
Day 17 – 3rd January –Chindian
A visit to India is never complete without a “Chinese meal”. A visit to “Mainland China” in Powai fulfilled the gastronomical need of “chilly chicken” and other Chinese dishes that you would never find in China.  My take – A visit to Bikanerwala in Delhi revealed new forms of vegetarian pasta (without cheese) and confirmed that the Indian cook’s ability to imbibe foreign foods and adapt them to the Indian palette is in sync with the times.  
Score - No change 12; Change 8
Day 18 – 4th January –Murderous Rage
When Ketki’s Punjabi Dad and Sanjana, my Oriya- Bengali niece, start to hum hand lu glass u, glass lu scotch u, you can proclaim a Tamil song (Kollaveri Di – which translated means murderous rage) to be a national hit. To my untrained ears, the song has no intrinsic merit to bestow upon it the adulation it has received nationwide. While meaningless lyrics have been popular since the days of ek do teen they have always had the “get up and shake a leg” tune to them. Kollaveri has a repetitive and simple tune but hardly one that would scream out to you to hit the dance floor. My take – The fad factory does seem to be in overdrive.
Score - No change 12; Change 9
Day 19 – 5th January – Omnipresent Oxymoron’s
While shopping for banana’s for the little one’s, I noticed a couple coming out of a Toyota Innova (expensive car!!!). They proceeded to argue with the shopkeeper and bargain for what appeared to be Rs1!!! A few minutes later, I met the same couple at a medical store and I noticed the man whip out an American Express card to make the payment. My take – Its not a matter of Rs. 1, its as if it’s a matter of intellect - the Toyota Innova is a few thousand more in EMI and every rupee saved goes towards that EMI.
Score - No change 13; Change 9
Day 20 – 6th January – Weight lifting
Ran into two little boys who were carrying bags that were atleast twice their size. I asked them if they were coming back from school and pat came the answer “no from tution”!!!. My take – Another example of the rat race…..
Score - No change 14; Change 9
My holiday experiences would suggest that India would offer itself as a perfect case study for the validity of Karl Marx’s Theory of Dialectic which has two essential tenets (from what I recall from my days at Delhi University)
1.       Peaceful Co-existence of opposites – The infrastructure of Delhi which sees wonderful roads and an excellent airport but incessant power outages is an excellent example within a city. The existence of world class airports in Bangalore, Hyderabad and Delhi alongside an apology for an airport in Mumbai is a pan India exemplification.
       2. Meeting of a thesis and an antithesis to create a new synthesis which preserves the core but allows for evolutionary changes – The demise of the scooter but the failure of the Nano is a classic example.