Having moved locations, 6 times (Delhi to Bangalore to Mumbai to Jakarta to Mumbai to Singapore and now to London) in the 16 years that I have been working, I have come to the conclusion that a year is the period required to form “first impressions” of a new place. As we complete a year in London, here are my first impressions of the UK.
Airports and immigration - We arrived from Singapore where the Changi Airports authority has a target of ensuring that passengers cleared immigration within 18 minutes of leaving the aircraft and should take no more than another 5 minutes to leave the airport, having offcourse collected their check-in baggage. Lets just say that Heathrow defines the other extreme of the spectrum. First it was an hour long wait to get to the front of the immigration line only to be told that our x-rays needed to be checked by a medical specialist (what if we were bringing tuberculosis into the country). The medical specialist took a cursory look at the x-ray and waved us thru. The state of affairs of the airports were brought to life for me when in March 2012, a power failure at the Gatwick airport meant that flights took off without baggage and reinforced when Manchester airport ran out of aviation fuel!!!
The jokes about the London airport not being able to cope with a few inches are all too true and personal experience bears it. However, while parts of Heathrow have seen better days, T5 clearly shines as a modern and well functioning terminal.
Shopping experience - Our first stop was a serviced apartment in Wimbledon. On the first evening, I was given a list of things to be bought and I marched off to the local Sainsbury’s. Having made my purchases, I placed my basket at the check out counter and waited to be told how much was due. Instead, I heard the woman ask me “Sir, do you need help with the bags”. I did not understand the question and looked straight ahead as if I had not heard the question and so the woman repeated herself, more forcefully “Sir, do you need help with the bags”. By this time I realised that, I was not in the D&E world where a part of the super market service was to bag your purchases. In the UK you were expected to do it yourself !!!!
First Sunday after arriving, I had the usual weekly shopping list. I decided to “beat the weekend queues” and arrive early. So as the kids had their dinner, I left to go shopping – nice and early at 6 PM. Alas, the local Sainsbury’s was closed. Cursing them, I moved onto the Tesco which was also closed. By now I was gripped with panic and almost running towards my saviour in Morrison which also turned out to be closed. I finally found a “Londis” where I bought what was needed for the evening and returned. That was my introduction to the Sunday Trading Act of 1994, which restricted trading on a Sunday to a maximum of 6 hours.
Having lived in a part of the world where Sunday is for frenzied shopping and malls are open till close to mid-night, arguably boosting the economy, I could not understand the drive to “keep Sunday special”. For any Indian husband, the malls provide the perfect safety valve by sucking in the wife for large parts of the day (preferably the evening) leaving him free to watch F1 or any other sport of choice on TV. I was relieved to note that I had not arrived prior to 1994 when the Shops Act was still in play and outlawed all trading on a Sunday.
Every shop front screams “SALE” and it seemingly happens through the year. The phenomenon is best captured by TK Maxx which has a banner saying “upto 60% off at any point of time”. As a consequence, it is impossible to buy a brand, you buy the best deal or at best you buy the brand when it is on “sale”.
Moushumi once went to shop at The Body Shop and purchased something worth £9. She was lured into a frenzy of “buy this and get that free and this with that and and and”. She ended up with goods worth £26 having paid only £11!!!!
Playgrounds – One of the first things we discovered in Wimbledon was “Dundonald Park”. It has 2 tennis courts, a children’s play area including a sand dune and swings and two cricket fields, which convert themselves into football grounds when the season changes. Vihaan and Vedant went in the children’s play area and the mean parents we are, we made them run around the cricket fields to tire them into sleeping peacefully.
After moving into our house, we discovered two other similar parks, Merton Park, John Innes Park within half a mile of our house. The amazing thing was how brilliantly well maintained they are and for the first time in my life, I did not grudge having to pay council tax in a foreign country. The first visit to the Natural History Museum (which does not have an entry fee) almost made me want to pay council tax!!!
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| Richmond Park - One of the many beautiful parks in London |
Driving in the UK – My first driving license was made in Bihar, one of the most corrupt states in India, in abstentia and obviously without a test. My second driving license was obtained in Indonesia where I did go to the test centre with an “agent” but all I did was stand for a photograph and sign a few papers before walking away with my license. So the prospect of having to take a written test followed by a practical test was “alien” to me.
I bought myself a “DVLA guide” which had 400 questions. About 10% of the way into the book I realised that the right answer was always the “opposite of what not to do while driving in India”. For instance,
- In India you have to honk, not honking is not an option. In the UK you do not honk
- In India if you are at an unmanned junction, you do not stop to look around. In the UK, you stop, look left, then right, then left again before going.
- In India, if you wanted to turn, you would never look at your rearview mirrors but instead flash the indicator and then check. In the UK, you first check your rearview mirror and then flash the indicator.
I decided to use this strategy in the exam as well and sure enough versus the requirement of 86%, I scored 100%.
Next I enrolled myself in a driving class and for my sins I landed up with a French WOMAN……now with my views about women drivers having a woman “teacher” was quite a “situation”. I have to admit that I learnt a lot about the basics of driving including parallel parking as a result of the 10 driving lessons. So the day of the practical arrived and to my shock and horror I found that the assessor was a WOMAN. Sure enough I flunked because I did not know that if you are going past the perpendicular on a round about you need to show the right indicator!!! I did pass in the second attempt and it was a MALE this time around!!!
Very early on, I decided that the only way to drive in the UK was to assume I was in Mumbai, think of how I would not do on the roads of and bingo that would be exactly what I would need to do in the UK. Driving in the UK is incredibly safe but incredibly stressful. All the stress comes from having to observe a hundred thousand odd rules, being polite to others and acknowledging their politeness.
Valuing your holidays – The first prime minster of India, Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru created the culture of 5.5 day work weeks, 3 weeks of the month inorder to kick start the economy. The result was that the concept of “weekend” never took root in India and certainly in HLL you were “expected” to be busy enough to work over the weekend. This coupled with the dream to move “up the ladder” meant that Colin Powell’s words, “A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work” , were ingrained into all middle class Indians including yours sincerely. So when the real estate agent told me “I don’t work on Saturdays” I was left awestruck. After all most of the property deals in India happen over the weekends, when people are not working.
On August 6th 2011 a wave of protests in Tottenham gave way to rioting and looting. By the 7th of August the riots had spread and on the 8th London was burning quite literally. All this while the Prime Minister was off on holiday in Italy. Whats more the Home secretary, Teresa May was on holiday as well. And oh, it gets better, the Mayor of London was on leave, the chief of the Metropolitan police was on leave and, hold your breath, so was the head of the police in the borough where the riots began. The riots began on Saturday evening and it was not till Tuesday that the Prime minister decided to rush back to London and “take charge”. Offcourse, I am sure if Mrs. Thatcher were in power, she would come back on Sunday morning and stamped out the nonsense without another evening of madness prevailing.
UK is the only country that I am aware of where all holidays (except Christmas) are on a Monday!! So while the world had the 1st of May off for labor day, in the UK the holiday for Labor day was on the 7th of May. The idea of bank holidays goes back to 1871 and was instituted by the then Prime Minister Gladstone. He established the August Bank Holiday which used to be the Monday following the last Sunday of August. This remained till 1969 when the August Bank holiday fell on the 1st of September!!!!!!
We quickly realised that all bank holiday getaways needs to be planned well in advance i.e at the beginning of the year as every place is booked out.
Stiff British Upper lip – Before coming to the UK, I read a statistic that 70% of Brits did not know the name of their neighbours. (Source : Nissan Cared4 Survey). Having spent our entire lives in the “collectivist” East, we were naturally anxious. The anxiousness was reinforced in the first few days, every morning when the question “how are you” was met with “not too bad” as the response. Coming from the east, “not too bad” meant “things are not good but it could be worse and so I am not complaining”.
A survey done by Nivea (reported in The Daily Telegraph) reported that British hugged on an average 13 times a day with each hug lasting for 10 seconds leading experts to believe that the “stiff British upper lip” is receding to the past. This new piece of information gave me hope.
When we moved into our home we were welcomed, with a bouquet from our 84 year old neighbour. In office I was welcomed by a presentation with everything one needed to know about living in Wimbledon. It was that presentation which introduced us to Deen City Farm which is a huge hit with Vihaan and Vedant.
I was beginning to believe that the “Stiff British upper lip” was a unflattering caricature of the British till I discovered “question hour” in the British Parliament where everyone seems to address everyone else as “right honourable gentleman” before proceeding to shred them to pieces. The classic was the year end debate where Ed Miliband asked David Cameron “The Prime Minister had promised a collegiate style of governance. I would like to ask him where that style was when dealing with Europe”. Now we all know that the LibDems and the Tories have “issues” over Europe. So David Cameron replied “We do have some disagreements and that is known to all. It is not as if we are brothers”…ouch (reference David Miliband)…. And while he waited for the applause from his side of the well to end I assumed he was going to say something profound and he continued “The right honourable gentleman walked into that”….the stiff British upper lip is alive and well but not one to be experienced in “ordinary life”. I guess the maxim that politicians make the worst ambassadors for a country still holds true.
With the average Briton saying Thank you “5000 times a year” (Source : Food Network UK), I think the British are incredibly polite.
Obsession with the weather –We arrived in the “middle of summer” and Moushumi had carried only her “summer dresses”. Sure enough it was “hot” i.e 16 degrees and rained practically everyday in May and provided an excuse (not that one is ever needed) to augment an overflowing wardrobe of Moushumi.
The British obsession with the weather is great food for playful banter. However, it is only when you live in the UK do you realise why. The day could begin nice and bright and end damp and cold. We quickly got two weather apps and checked the weather before going to bed and first thing in the morning.
Coming from the tropics where rains equate to a downpour, the constant drizzle can only be likened to someone shedding a few tears.
Winter is another experience - For the record, the winters in Patna are quite cold with the temperatures going down to single digits around Christmas and so I “claim” to have faced winters in my life. However, the winter in the UK is “different”. For starters, the change of the clock means that the sun sets earlier and so you reach office when it is still dark and you leave office when it is dark. It is not without reason that a disease “SAD – seasonal affective disorder” was coined in the UK. It has to be said that the invention of “central heating” means that the cold is actually not a problem, it is the lack of sunshine.
But there are those few days of the season when it snows which makes the misery of winters well worth it. The experience of snow is purely magical. The first day it snowed, Moushumi and I went out for a walk to “feel” the snow fall on our hands and heads. The snow ensured that the night was “white” and in the morning the snow was greeted by Vihaan and Vedant. The two of them offcourse went berserk throwing snow at each other after a few attempts of making a snowman. The funny thing was that all the British were complaining about the snow, something I cant quite understand.
Cash is king, nay credit is king –I remember using my credit card once in Patna (back in 1996), yes only once. I was asked for my telephone number, address, my fathers name and a million other details because using a credit card was so uncommon. To be fair, the concept of “credit” is fairly alien to middle class Indians who accept it for purchases of homes, cars or other “assets” but not for grocery.
On one of my first shopping trips I ran up a bill of a little more than a £ 100 and took out two £50 notes. The person at the check out counter asked me for identification…..clearly paying in cash was not a sight he was accustomed to. It took me many months to get used to the idea of giving your credit card details to someone on the other end of the phone, what if it was misused.
British Countryside – The British countryside is truly beautiful and seems to have attractions for all age groups and interests.
Our first excursion to the countryside was in Dorset where we stayed at a B&B that was in a house that was 400 years old. My brother in law (Subhendu) and I went out to get some dinner and came across the village pub. It was a Friday evening and we expected the frenzy that is witnessed in every pub in London on a Friday evening. Instead, people were sipping (not gulping) beer and chatting, others were having a meal with their family and the pub was due to close at 2200!!!! Clearly, the lifestyle in the countryside is “different” from that in London.
A drive into the countryside reveals names of towns that range from strange (Rugby, Camelford, Hallworthy, Exmouth, Plymouth, Sidmouth, Bugle) to the hilarious (Runcon, Lizard, Heston, Chipping Camden, Helstown) and the ridiculous (Boxheater, Happy Bottom, Pratts Bottom, Ugley). Clearly the English love their play on words and don’t seem to mind a laugh at their own expense.
Obsession with statistics - The British seem obsessed with statistics and there seem to be statistics around inane things including the fact that working mothers spend 48.3 hours per week multi tasking compared with 38.9 hours for their partners (other examples are littered elsewhere in the blog).
Despite all the cuts to the public services, one institution retains its funding and manpower – the Office of National Statistics. In 1941, it conducted a study on bra ownership and found that housewives owned 0.8 brassieres while agricultural workers owned 1.9!!! Other studies it has conducted include whether moustaches made men more attractive, the speed with which people could drink a half-pint, and how much alfresco sex was taking place in Blackpool during August. Its latest initiative is what I would argue is the unmeasurable territory of personal well being where they are asking two questions - "Overall, how happy did you feel yesterday?" and "Overall, to what extent do you feel the things you do in your life are worthwhile?"
Yet the same institution regularly gets its forecast of growth (or the lack thereof) wrong by a wide degree.
Concluding thoughts –
A Land of contradictions – My first impression is that of a land of contradictions. Let me give you a few examples
- The first round of sale of the Olympics tickets were over subscribed many times over and many (including myself) did not get any tickets. Yet there are still tickets unsold.
- A number of public discourses revolve around the importance of family life. This extends to the argument as to why shops should be closed on a Sunday. Yet, it is more common to get divorced than it is to change allegiance to your football club and the next in line for the throne is a divorcee who is re-married to a divorcee.
- A country which upholds the values of democracy to the world finds itself obsessed with the monarchy and thanks to events like the “Royal wedding” the support for the institution is at an all time high as per a survey done by IPSOS. The fact that the upkeep of the monarchy costs the ordinary citizen seems to be forgiven or forgotten or missed.
- A country which preaches the virtues of a free market, has no free market for medical services. I remember the first time we went to the local NHS with Vihaan and Vedant, I asked the reception twice how much I owed them and where to pay only to be told “there are no fees sir”. I have come across the idea of subsidised medical facilities in India, Indonesia and Singapore but “free” was a first.
- UK is clearly a country of “outdoorsy” people. You just have to look at the sales of charcoal for barbeques anytime the sun peeks out to draw the conclusion. Yet, it has no street food culture whatsoever. I don’t buy the “weather is responsible” argument because the torrential downpours should have killed off any street food in Singapore decades back.
Probably the best expression of the “land of contradictions” can be found in “what Brits say and what Brits mean”. Here are a few examples
What Brits Say
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What Brits mean
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I hear what you say
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I disagree and do not want to discuss it further
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With the greatest respect…
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I think you are an idiot
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That’s not bad
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That’s good
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Quite good
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A bit disappointing
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Very interesting
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This is clearly nonsense
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This is a very brave proposal
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You are insane
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As per a study done on behalf of The Daily Telegraph, a majority of the Scots would like to remain part of Great Britain while a majority of the English would like them out – the epitome of contradictions……
I am sure my views on the UK will evolve over time but experience tells me that it will be an evolution and not a revolution. Time will tell……
